Monthly Archives: October 2008

Wierdness…

I went to class–as usual on Tuesday’s–and got home about midnight, last night got into bed and was all set to enjoy a good nights sleep…however, at some time in the middle of the night I had a crazy dream…I mean really wild. so here is the basic setup, My family, I felt like we were all there but only really remember seeing my father. So, we are all in the attic of this big old house, and we are scared, it was the kind of fear that just grips your whole being and nearly paralyzes you. So we are hiding in this attic and there is what appears to be a church service going on downstairs, the problem is that its our house and somehow we are hiding in fear in the attic and these people are downstairs having taken over our house to have this church service, so as we are upstairs hiding and trying very hard to stay quite so nobody hears us all of the sudden, Mrs. Barnes, or more appropriately the ghost of Mrs. Barnes shows up in a rocking chair on the other side of the attic. (Mrs. Barnes is the wife of a Pastor I worked with) and she is pointing straight ahead in judgment of somethign I am not sure what…She is not pointing at us and is not pointing downstairs just straight ahead, however she clearly does not approve of whatever she is pointing at and this point just adds more fear in the dream and I finally get up the nerve and go over to touch her but I can’t so I begin telling her “in the name of Jesus leave” and I start commanding but she does not listen, she looks at me and is almost taunting me, then I woke up quite sure that she was in my real room…she wasn’t, thank God. 

it was very disturbing…and I am not sure exactly what to make of it. 
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I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like a fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongues of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I believe in the Kingdom Come
When all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well, yes I’m still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosened the chains
Carried the cross
Of all my shame
all my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for


-U2
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wow…so 

I really should be in PT’s class right now but I just don’t have the energy. 
I really should be studying right now but I just dont have the energy.
I really should be praying right now but I just don’t have the energy.
I really should be writing right now but I just don’t have the energy.
I really should be being productive right now but I just don’t have the energy.
God, please give me the strength to carry on. Allow me to simply know that you are there. 
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