Monthly Archives: September 2008

Monday

Discouragment seems to have become part of my daily routine over the last few months. I do not think I am depressed, just discouraged. As much as parts of me love TLC I am struggling to with the idea of this really being where God wants me to be. I am not the kind of influencer that I would hope to be here. It seems that thought I am the “program director” I really have very little input and people tend to keep going around me instead of through me to do what they want, which frustrates me to no end. 

I have really been struggling to feel close to God lately. I am experienceing as Dr. Wibdin says the God who hides himself. At some level I can intellectually assent to the idea that God does hide himself, but I want that level of intimacy that I know I can have. 
I feel that part of my lack of intimacy with God comes from a lack of intimacy with others. I often do not feel that I have true and close friends, and those that I do or have had I have drifted away from because of time and distance, which I am sure is more excuse than reality. I think that I struggle with allowing myself to be truly known. 
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